"Don't Squat With Yer
Spurs On:
A Cowboy's Guide To Life"
by Texas Bix Bender
- Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
- After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him.
- The moral: when you're full of bull, keep
your mouth shut.
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first
thing to do is stop diggin'.
- Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
- It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a
flock of sheep.
- Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a
haircut.
- Never follow good whiskey with water, unless
you're out of good whiskey.
- If you get to thinkin' you're a person of
some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
- Don't worry about bitin' off more than you
can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
- Good judgement comes from experience, and a
lot of that comes from bad judgement.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
- If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a
look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
- When you give a lesson in meanness to a
critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn the lesson.
- There's two approaches to arguin' with a
woman. Neither one works.
- When you're throwin' your weight around, be
ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
- Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
easier 'n puttin' it back.
- Always take a good look at what you're about
to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to
know what it was.
- The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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